So I went back through the APA forums and did a search for my old posts. I've copied a quite a few of them here for posterity. In reading through, I do think that my writing style changes depending on who my audience is. But it will be fun to read back on these as I've managed to record a lot of milestones here. They're in chronological order, so just read and, I hope, enjoy.
3/9/2009
Just found out...twins
omg, so not expecting this. I'm only at 6 weeks and had some spotting over the weekend, so my doc sent me for an u/s. Haven't even had my first OB appt yet! And what does the tech say..."hmmm, I think I see two!" Still in shock!
I'm already not sleeping through the night, but I'm guessing that's more because of stress (and the constant trips to the bathroom!). So far, I'm doing pretty well. Hcg level at 6w1d was 35,635 - apparently pretty high and heartbeats were measured at 103 and 106 (6 weeks shows at 95-113 according to babycenter.com) and they measured exactly right, so all good signs, I hope! I hope they stick because I'm starting to get really excited and this is my very first time! What a ride so far!
4/25/2009
Any multiples moms out there single moms too?
I don't know how I'm going to do this on my own...anyone have any advice? Not only did the dad and I split up, but he lives in England, so he's not going to be around at all except for maybe a couple of times a year. Help?
5/13/2009
BTDT moms - Can they hurt each other?
Ok, this may sound like a really dumb question and I like to think I'm generally pretty knowledgeable about stuff...
...but I had a really long u/s yesterday at my high risk doc, it took 55 minutes to do all the measurements and stuff and I watched the babies kick the crap out of each other for about 5 minutes. Now, I know that technically, they aren't "touching" but after watching baby B kick baby A in the head and face (with me yelling "play nice! Don't make me pull this car over!" to no avail) I was wondering if they could actually hurt each other in there.
I'm guessing that it'd have to be like trying to beat someone up under water? With nothing to hold on to? So...not very easy, right? But still, after seeing that yesterday, I can't help but be a little bit worried!
Any ideas???
11/30/2009
2 month checkup - Alex & Max
So I just got back from taking Alex and Max for their 2 month appointment! Get this...
Alex - 11 pounds!
Max - 10 pounds, 14 ounces!
They're in the 25-50% percentile for their age, unadjusted! That means that even though they were 5 weeks early, they've basically caught up to full-term babies! Yay!
Also, I'm cautiously optimistic that their eyes are going to stay grey! They are so beautiful and much nicer than my boring brown.
Hope everyone is doing well! I love reading the updates, but I haven't had a lot of time to post lately...they're rarely asleep at the same time. I'm taking advantage of them being tired from all of the shots (they got FIVE each!).
12/15/2009
Handling twins alone - update (long!)
Yes, it is 5:30am and I can't sleep (though they are sleeping right now in their swings, yay!).
1. My situation has changed and my sister will no longer be staying with me (long story), so she is leaving at the end of December so I need to figure out SOMETHING by then!
2. I've had to put the boys in day care due to #1, so now they both have colds, which isn't helping the sleeping/eating at all.
3. I've had a night nanny coming in for 3 nights/week, but due to the costs of day care, I will have to give that up, so I need to figure something out.
4. As a single mom, and soon to be the only adult in the house, I will need to do every night alone, so I need to figure out some way to get sleep myself. Currently, my sister and I are splitting the nights, 4 hours each, but during my shift I can't sleep, even when the babies are sleeping. At this time of night (4-8am) they sleep best in their swings (the recline and motion helps with their reflux) and I don't feel comfortable having them in another room, but the swing noise and their snuffling/grunting noises keep me awake. Also, I have a hard time falling back to sleep after spending an hour to 90 minutes feeding, burping, rocking, etc.
5. I have purchased a bottle prop that attaches to the car seat handle and I'm waiting for that to come so I can try the simultaneous feedings. They wiggle a lot while eating so propping with a blanket or something doesn't work as the bottle keeps falling over. I hope the prop works. I am hoping to be able to prop one and hold the other, but have the other seat close by so I can put the one I'm holding down when the other needs to be burped. I know my doc advised against this, but a lot of other MoMs I've talked to have said that propping is the only way they were able to bottle feed both at once. Of course, I would never walk away while they are eating this way.
Continuing problems I need advice on...
1. Sometimes burping takes longer than feeding. But they HAVE to burp, even if they fall asleep, before I put them back to bed (or in the swing) or they will eventually spit up or, worse, projectile spit up everywhere. This is hard when the other one is screaming for whatever reason!
2. I find I'm getting up to reinsert pacifiers sometimes every 2-3 minutes. This doesn't help with sleeping for me! But I can tell they're tired and just need the comfort of sucking.
3. My doctor said not to let them cry it out for too long (longer than 5 minutes right now) yet because of the reflux. When they get too worked up, they throw up all of their food, which defeats the whole purpose. But they still wake up every 45 minutes or so and need to be soothed back to sleep. Do I just wait for them to get older? I keep hoping that "tomorrow" or "next week" will be better.
4. They will generally do ONE 4 hour stretch at night, but it is not the same 4 hours for both or at the same time of night. It is generally around 9-1 or 1-5, but I can't tell from night to night which it will be. And with an hour of feeding/rocking to sleep and then 30-45 minutes of grunting/fussing before they really wake up, this amounts to about 2 hours of actual sleep for them. Not much sleep for me.
My room is big enough that I can put the swings in there once my sister leaves so that at least I can lie down in my bed instead of the couch, so that might help my sleeping. I am going to try pushing my bed up against the wall and possibly letting them sleep with me for a bit (at least I don't have another adult in bed so I can do what I want, lol!) but I'm worried that they will never leave my bed if I do this and I'd like to have another partner SOMEday! But if it helps me sleep, I should do it, right?
I have one tucker wedge that I borrowed from another MoM and I use it for Max as his reflux is worse, but I don't think it is helping more than the swing does. So I don't know that I'm going to keep it. And it takes up so much room in the crib and I'd like to have them both in the one crib for now. Right now I have a crib and pack/play combo set up in their room...not that they're in there a lot! I'm going to try propping up the mattress again and fashioning some sort of method to keep them from sliding down to the crib bars (one MoM mentioned rolling up beach towels under the crib sheet to keep from sliding and I will try that).
Keep the advice coming please, I am listening (or trying!)!
Desperate and sleep deprived,
Shawnna
Mom to Alex and Max - 11 weeks
12/22/2009
Reflux - what are your symptoms? what are you doing?
I've seen a few of you post that your babies have reflux and some are on meds. Not having dealt with this before, I thought I'd share my experiences with M&A and we could compare!
M&A are on zantac twice a day, 1.5ml doses each. But my doc said it only helps neutralize the acid so it doesn't hurt them, it doesn't keep them from spitting.
Symptoms - back arching, crying, spitting up some after every meal, hiccups multiple times per day, wet hiccups, gurgling in the throat, projectile spitting up of the entire meal, sometimes many times per day, sometimes they can go two or three days without throwing it all back up. Extremely painful gassiness (but this could be just due to gas and not reflux).
I burp them (a LOT) every ounce to ounce and a half, but I find, especially at night, that they fall asleep while I'm burping them and NOTHING will wake them up again. I've tried rubbing the feet, rubbing their heads, cutting their nails, suctioning their noses, everything I can think of...nothing wakes them...except putting them down in bed! Which is, of course, after I've dumped out the rest of the bottle! Because of this, I've been trying to push them to 2 ounces without burping them at night, but then it is "iffy" whether it will stay down or not.
There is no "safe" time. Even 2-3 hours after they've eaten, they can be sitting there and suddenly formula is spewing across the room, over them, the swing, the floor, me...whatever.
Also, they still have a really hard time burping themselves and when they have air bubbles it always wakes them up and they need to be held upright to burp and then they fall back to sleep.
I have Max on a tucker wedge, but I don't know how much it helps. Alex still can sleep flat, but spits up a lot in his sleep (which wakes him up). I sleep them inclined in their swings a LOT, but I recently read online somewhere that inclines over 30 degrees are WORSE for reflux? I try to keep them upright (on my shoulder, in the swing, inclined in the bouncy chair) as much as possible. The boppy isn't enough of an incline for them, although they do sleep on it face down sometimes, well, not FACE down, but on their tummies leaning over the boppy. They seem to like this.
I always change them before they eat or they spit it all up when I lie them down. If they fill their pants during the feeding, sometimes I risk changing them, sometimes I just let them wait until the next feed. Always a gamble to put them flat after they eat.
I canNOT put them down to sleep until they've burped or it all comes up in bed. This means sometimes holding, patting, bouncing (lightly!) for 45 minutes after they fall asleep. It's also a very delicate game putting them down to swaddle them as they will only stay asleep if they're swaddled.
I try not to let them cry a lot because if they get upset, all the food comes back up. This sucks because I know sometimes they just need to CIO a bit to get back to sleep, but if they spit up everywhere, they just wake themselves up all the way. Again...a gamble.
It's gotten to the point where I'm almost afraid to feed them more than a couple of ounces at a time because I'm caught off guard every single time it comes back up at me.
Also, when they started day care last week, they came home every single day in different clothes from spitting up on them. I think the day care teachers are finally getting the hang of feeding them though because the last two days have been better.
I am definitely going to need to replace my couch when this phase has passed!
What are you other moms going through and doing about this? I don't know that there's anything else I CAN do at this point?
12/25/2009
I did it!
I survived my first night on my own! AND I fed both of the boyz at the same time! Ok, I did it during the day, but I've done it twice now, so I'm going to MAYBE try it tonight.
I didn't get a lot of sleep, about 3 hours total, but I did it! I think I let the boyz sleep too much yesterday, so I'm going to try to keep them up more today so hopefully, they'll sleep more tonight!
12/29/2009
In home nanny v. day care
So I have the opportunity to have an in home nanny come to watch the boyz during the day while I am at work. It seems like a miracle because I have NOT been happy with the day care (came in to find Alex with some other kid's paci, they forgot to tell me boyz were out of formula so I had to come get them at 3pm, won't follow my schedule, etc.).
The nanny has worked for another multiples family (7 week old twins, 1 yo and 6 yo) so she should be fine with my boyz! She's volunteered for orphanages in Africa since she was 13, highly recommended.
The downside is, of course, the extra money. BUT for an in home nanny she's super cheap...she would only charge me $400/week for my whole work week, including to/from work, so about 9.5 hours a day! So for $1600/month I can have the boyz looked after in my own home, on my own schedule.
Currently, I am paying $1200/mo for day care, so it is "only" $400 more...but as I'm a single mom, $400/mo is a lot of money for me!
I THINK that I can probably swing it for about 6-9 months as my mom is going to give me some money to help out this year, but my budget would be SO tight that I'd be concerned that if something happened (car broke down, washer broke, etc) I'd be kind of screwed.
I'd really like to be able to do this until the boyz are a year old, I'd feel better about taking them to day care after that...but I'm really worried about the money issue!
What are your thoughts? What would you do?
1/4/2010
My night-time routine (long)
OK, so this is obviously a pretty popular, stressful, time-consuming topic at this stage in the game! Our babies are all getting to that point where they MIGHT start sleeping longer/better!
I thought I would post my night-time routine and hopefully you all can share too and we can maybe pick up pointers/tips/tricks from each other?
Obviously, my situation is a little different because I have two, and they are 5 week preemies, so it's still a bit hit and miss on my end, but I'm starting to have SOME hope! I track all of their feeding times & amounts still, so I can see that they are starting to sleep longer stretches, at least in the beginning of the night.
Over these past two long weekends (4 days and 3 days), I had the chance to experiment and I think I have a pretty good routine...of course, I'm sure the day care will screw it up, but I only have 2 more weeks until the nanny starts! And, just writing this down is SURE to jinx me so they'll never do this again!
DAY - I follow a 3 hour eat/play/sleep pattern. So when they wake up, it takes about 30 minutes for them to eat (5oz) and then I play with them for 30-60 minutes depending on how sleepy/grumpy they are. They're getting better at staying awake, especially if they're stimulated. For playtime I start them in their bouncy seats (inclined for less spit up) and play a CD and sing along to them using hand puppets and rattles and tickle them, "fly" the puppets and rattles around them, hold their hands/feet, etc. Then I read them part of a story (ok, I know "Poky Little Puppy" is WAY too advanced, but I get tired of "Pat the Bunny" and baby face books and stuff sometimes!). Then, after I think the food has settled, I put them on the activity mat and they play on their backs for awhile and have 5 minutes of tummy-time. I keep their bibs on the whole time as they tend to leak during this whole process!
The more they're awake in the day, the better they sleep at night. But I do follow their cues, so they get about 1 to 1 1/2 hours of nap each cycle. (At day care they only sleep about 45 minutes with one 1 1/2 to 2 hour nap per day.) Even if they get sleepy while eating or even fall asleep, I find that getting them in their chairs for playtime wakes them up.
So this sets us up for...
NIGHT - Diaper change and then last feeding between 7p-8p of 6oz. I always change first as they often fall almost asleep during this feeding and I hate waking them! Also, with the reflux, lying them flat right after feeding is a gamble! On bath days I bathe them first and then feed them. The bath seems to help expend extra energy so that they do seem to sleep a little better. They don't always take all the formula, but a nice big feeding before bed seems to help. If they want more, I give it to them at this time. Max took 7 1/2 oz once and slept 7 hours! Only once though!
After feeding them, I swaddle tightly in the "swaddle me" swaddlers, bounce them for a few minutes on my pilates ball (65cm one from Target or Walmart, $10. GREAT for calming, burping and putting them to sleep or in the pre-sleep coma! I highly recommend getting one if you have a fussy baby!) Then I put them in bed, hopefully, not quite asleep, give them a paci if they'll take it and turn on the crib soother thing with lights and sound. Generally, they're asleep before it turns off (12 minutes) but if they fuss, I turn it on again.
I find that if I can put them in bed by 8p at the LATEST, they will sleep until midnight at the least. If I put them to bed later than 8p, they still get up at the same time, regardless.
Generally, when they fuss around midnight, I can give them the paci and they will go back to sleep for an hour or two.
Then I feed them again, bounce, put back into bed drowsy but awake and repeat the steps above with the paci/crib soother.
Last week they were doing this schedule:
8pm - bed
12:30am - wake to feed (I didn't realize I probably could have pushed this a bit later by offering paci, but at first I was so excited about getting 4 hours that I didn't think of it! That would have extended the 4:30 feed too.)
4:30am - wake to feed
8am - wake to feed
This weekend, I was able to get them on this schedule:
8pm - bed
2am - wake to feed (fed them back to back so I only had to be up once, took an hour total)
6am - wake to feed
I went to bed around 10pm, so I was able to get in a good stretch before they got up for the first time.
I did have to get up maybe twice in between each feeding to give pacis, but I can do that in my sleep now! I only had to get up once to feed them in the night!
This schedule works better for me having to get up to get to work by 8am anyway, but I'm hoping that once the nanny comes I can get them to sleep until 7am so that I can get ready without worrying about getting them fed and ready for the day. Not sure though!
Ok, congrats if you've made it through this novel, but I thought that sharing might help!
1/20/2010
People say the most obnoxious things!
I thought I would post this since I was reading through the "if I hear this one more time" thread!
I finally managed to get out of the house for 45 minutes with the boyz BY MYSELF for the first time in ages and went to Target. They actually fell asleep in their car seats in the snap n go, which is rare because they hate being in the car seats (which sucks!) and a woman came up and said, "enjoy this now because in a couple of years they're going to be little hellions! I have 3yo twins, so I know!"
Ok, I'll give her that she has twins...BUT
1. She has NO idea what my situation has been like or what I've gone through this past year.
2. Just because HER kids are hellions, how does she know mine will be?!
I just looked at her. What I REALLY wanted to say was, "be sure to enjoy your husband/boyfriend now before he dumps you and leaves you alone with those hellions of yours!"
I mean, I'm sure she meant to be helpful, but why don't people just limit their comments to nice things? I'm really careful now just to comment on how beautiful, sweet, cute their kids/babies are or sometimes ask for advice.
Knowing what I've gone through the past year made me realize that I have NO CLUE what other people have gone through. I'm really careful in my MoMs group and on forums not to complain about having twins without trying because I know that SO MANY people have struggled for ages to have babies and can't or have had losses and would kill to have gotten pregnant with twins "without trying". My situation is hard, but other peoples' situations are hard too! Just different!
Anyway, I just wanted to get this off my chest. I was so proud of myself for having gotten out of the house with them, and then they were actually asleep and this woman just stomped around on my good mood and burst my bubble with one little comment!
1/23/2010
4 month check up and neurosurgeon follow up (x-post)
So M&A had their 4 month check up yesterday! They won't actually be 4 months until the 27th, but I moved it up a week because my parents are in town for "fake Chrystmas" and this way my mom could come.
The poor guys had to have 5 immunizations! 4 shots each and an oral vaccine. Yesterday was a pretty cranky, fussy unhappy day for them. But they are feeling better today!
Alex - 13 pounds, 9 oz (25th perc), 25.5 in (75th perc!), 15.5 in head circumference (50th perc)
Max - 13 pounds, 9 oz (25th perc), 24.5 in (25th perc), 15.25 in head (25th perc)
They have both more than doubled their birth weights! Alex might be tall! The doc is not measuring them adjusted anymore since they are in pretty decent percentiles. It's funny, when moms from my multiples group come over they all say how BIG the boyz are...but when moms of singletons come over, they all think the boyz are SMALL!
The follow up with the neurosurgeon for Max went well too. The dents are growing out, the torticullis is resolving (no PT, yay!) and he doesn't need to follow up for another 3 months! He's still showing signs of benign hydrocephaly, but that should resolve by 16 months and he said he'd do a follow up CT in 3-6 months if it's not starting to go down.
At the doc's yesterday, my mom and I held the boyz up so they could see each other, and it was really one of the first times they were ever really paying attention to each other. It was so cute! They were smiling and laughing at each other and touching.
And Max rolled over from front to back! 4 times at the docs and once here at home! Yay, Max! Now I have to get Alex to concentrate a bit more on tummy time so he catches up!
2/8/2010
One year ago today...
...was the day I got pregnant! Technically, it could have been tomorrow, but I was only in London with the baby daddy for 3 days and I thought that the possibility of getting pregnant that day was already going to be pushing it, so I'm pretty sure it was today!!!
It was an interesting 3 weeks for me...it went like this...
2/8 - London, England: DTD (several times, ahem)
2/17 - Linz, Austria: noticed two spots of blood when I got out of the shower, thought it was the start of AF, now know this was probably implantation bleeding
2/22 - Prague, Czech Republic: should have gotten AF, didn't come. I'm normally like clockwork, but figured the time change/traveling had thrown my schedule a bit.
2/24 - Vallendar, Germany: Now 3 days late, this has never happened before, quietly freaking out to myself...not so quietly over IM to baby daddy. Went to a store to buy a test, but decided that trying to translate from German would be too hard! Besides I didn't want to find out if I was "schwanger" or "nicht schwanger"!
2/25 - Milan, Italy: 4 days late, finally broke down and bought a test from a pharmacy behind the Duomo. I'll never forget having to go in and ASK for the test IN ITALIAN. Went back to the hotel and POAS. OMG, BFP! I speak broken Italian and I checked the results and instructions against Babelfish several times! Called my BFF and my mom. Baby daddy says he's SO happy, we're going to be together, I'm moving to London in 4 only 4 months, etc .(yeah, right!).
2/26 - flying back to PHX from Milan: 12 LOOOONG hours on a plane quietly freaking out, surprised, but happy, POAS when I got home, sorry, but wanted a test in English another BFP...didn't even have to wait the 3 minutes!
As you can see, my boys are destined to be world travelers!
Anyway, I just can't believe that this crazy ride started a year ago today...and the ride's not over yet! And my beautiful, identical, twin baby boys are already 4 months old!
2/17/2010
Dinnertime shenanigans
Ok, so M&A have started getting really squirmy and wiggly at dinnertime. They chew on the nipples of their bottles, they try to squirm out of their chairs, they try to shove their hands in their mouths with the bottles, they smile, coo, laugh...pretty much everything except eat.
They used to take 7-8 ounces before bed and now it's all I can do to get them to take more than 4.
This makes feeding them at the same time very difficult! I've tried giving them each a couple of ounces (at the same time) and then holding one to feed him while distracting the other one with the burp cloth or a toy and that doesn't work either. The one I'm holding is just as squirmy, looking around, chewing, trying to push himself off my lap.
What used to take 30 minutes, is now taking upwards of an hour.
They're not over tired, they take good naps and they don't show tired signs. I start this process between 5:30-5:45.
I've checked for teeth but I don't feel anything. I thought that might be why they were chewing the nipples?
2/12/2010
Rice cereal leads to upset tummy...news at eleven
So I tried M&A on rice cereal this weekend and it really upset Alex's stomach. I should have known because EVERY change I've tried to make has given him problems. He spent 3 hours screaming this morning. At least I gave it to them in the morning, instead of at night (I'm learning!) so his fit was during the day. But I felt so bad for him, he was in so much pain. And I felt so bad for Max because I basically sat him in his bouncy seat watching sesame street the whole time. And I felt bad for me because I was all alone!
I guess I need to make his mostly formula and very little cereal and slowly build up over time? Has anyone dealt with this before?
It surprises me that Alex has such a hard time with stuff (eating, sleeping, rolling) than Max does, but I know they are individuals.
I think Max is ready to sleep unswaddled, so I am going to start trying that. I got him to nap yesterday with his arms out and now that his cold is better, he slept almost all night again last night.
Anyway, today was tough...
3/9/2010
Not so "behind" after all!
Ok, so after all that yesterday and indicating that I wasn't worried about teeth...guess who had a tooth pop through last night?!
MAX!
When I got home I looked in his mouth with a really bright light and could see the white line of the tooth in there but couldn't feel it. This morning, I can just barely feel the little ridge of the tooth breaking through.
So far, he seems ok with the process, but I've totally just jinxed myself!
Nothing for Alex yet. He looked jealous that Max got to chew on the brand new teethers this morning!
3/15/2010
Got 3 more this weekend!
Teeth, that is!
Max's 2nd bottom one came through and Alex is getting both his bottom ones at the same time. You can just feel the first ridges that have poked through.
So far it hasn't been TOO bad, but the sleep is suffering all around, that's for sure!
The amount of drool is just disgusting! Everything in my house has been drooled on this weekend!
3/17/2010
Stopping swaddling - need help and advice!
Ok, so the boys are 5 1/2 months old and they have always been swaddled to sleep (night & naps). However, now they are really fighting it when I swaddle them (starting to cry and wiggle away when I put them in it, rolling to the side, etc.) and they can break out of pretty much any swaddle, no matter how tight. I have considered duct taping the thing closed, but I'm pretty sure that would be frowned upon by CPS!
They are currently swaddled in kiddopotomus "Swaddle Me" swaddlers with velcro tabs that have been modified (by me) in the following ways:
1. I cut the pouch and sewed legs so they can be buckled into their swings while swaddled (so they are already ok with legs free)
2. I added arm restraints (a la Miracle Blanket) that go over the arms and tuck under the back for extra arm holding support
They can now get out no matter how tightly I swaddle. Even if I swaddle with the Swaddle Me and THEN the Miracle Blanket on top or vice versa (Miracle then Swaddle). Also, I don't want to suffocate them with too much swaddling!
Mr. Houdini (Max) even managed last night to pull his actual arm out of his onesie sleeve and get it up through the neck of his outfit so he could chew on his hand (resulting in very wet swaddler & onesie!).
Anyway, the point of all of this is that I want to get them unswaddled (my Pede said it was unsafe to keep swaddling when they can roll back to tummy which they are starting to do) as they are obviously fighting it now.
The problem is that they can't fall & stay asleep unswaddled.
I have tried just putting one arm out. I have tried loosening it. I have tried ditching it all together. I have tried letting them fall asleep in the swing unswaddled (or one arm out, one in) and then moving them. With an arm out, they still flail and pull out the pacifiers and then cry for them. I have tried giving them another pacifier to hold on to so they don't pull the one out of their mouths. I have read online to put them in sleep sacks and then pin their arms down for awhile, but that doesn't seem safe to me.
I don't just want to go cold turkey and let them cry. I don't mind letting them cry for a few minutes at a time, but I don't want to just close the door and let them CIO. Especially since there are two of them, and if one falls asleep, he will eventually wake up if his brother is crying. I can separate them, but my house is small and if a baby is crying for an extended period, he will wake the other.
I don't mind trying to break one of the habit and then the other as it's hard enough getting them both to sleep by myself anyway.
3/22/2010
Why I have to let them cry...HELPFUL suggestions appreciated!
Maybe this would be better in Traditional, but I would really like some HELPFUL advice from the AP moms.
I have been a secret lurker here for months, I read the posts about CIO but I've never posted before...not because I disagree with AP, but becasue I can't physically do it. As a single mom with twins sometimes I have to let them cry/fuss to sleep. This is the part that I hate and is the hardest part of my day. Bedtime is so so hard, because I can't physically be there for both of them at the same time. I would love to be able to get them to fall asleep together, but haven't figured out how, or if it's even possible. They used to just roll over and go to sleep, but now they both want to be put to sleep by me. Which means one is either in a bouncy or a swing, hopefully quiet, but more often than not, crying. I try to go back and forth, soothing the crying one, bouncing them, switching to the swing, putting down M and picking up A and hoping M will be close enough to sleep to finish falling asleep alone. Then switching off again, back and forth again. Generally, I just end up with two pissed off babies who were ALMOST asleep and then got put down two minutes too early and I have to start over again. When they're finally asleep and in bed, I feel like I've run a marathon, it's so exhausting. Then A will sleep great once he's asleep, but M is up every 1-2 hours crying for his pacifier. Once he has it, he goes straight back to sleep, but until it's back in his mouth it's like the end of the world. No fussing here, straight to melt down screaming. I'm lucky that I don't have to feed them in the night, but it's still really hard. Sometimes M is fussing/crying/wiggling in my arms because he just wants me to put him DOWN so he can go to sleep. I put him in his crib, he rolls to his side and is out. Sometimes, putting him down makes it worse. A has started this thing where he'll be fully asleep in my arms and then I put him down and he starts fussing just enough to where he knows I'll pick him up again. I know he's manipulating me, but I don't want him waking A up. My house is tiny, even splitting them up wouldn't help keeping them from waking each other. I don't use a monitor because I can hear them crying OUTSIDE! (I know this from when I've run to check the mail!) With the humidifier on in their room and the air purifier in my room, I have no issues hearing them squeak, much less cry!
I'd like to do the thing where you sit by the bed so they know you're there while they fall asleep and work my way out of the room, but I don't know how I would do it with two of them. They both get tired at the same time, so it's not like I could get one of them to sleep first and work with the other one separately in another room. I can try moving the cribs so that there's only enough space for me to sit between them and then I could pat each one with one hand or something, but I don't know if that will work?
I've tried to come up with a routine, but I can only do baths twice a week and I need someone to help me with that. And the routine changes daily depending on who's tired first and how fussy they both are that day.
I read the anti CIO threads here and I feel bad. I know that no one here is personally attacking me (or even knew I was here!), but I wish that I didn't have to let them cry, and I wonder sometimes when I'm trying to get them to sleep, what some of you would do in my position to make it better. This is why I decided to post here finally, maybe someone will have some small suggestion that will help. I would never, ever close the door and walk away. I had a sleep trainer suggest that to me and that was the last time I talked to her. But sometimes, when one is finally FINALLY asleep and the other starts crying and wakes his brother and then they're both crying...I just don't know what to do!
During the day it's pretty easy. They go down easily for naps. They rarely cry. It's just at night when I'm trying to get them to sleep. My mom is coming at the end of May to watch them for 10 days because I have to go on a work trip and I need them to sleep better by then! And I could really use some sleep myself!
3/22/2010
I took them to the store (ok, it almost killed me!)
So, I braved the grocery store alone with the boys yesterday! And I must say, they were little champs and so good! But man, the logistics of everything was a nightmare!
First, I realized that I need to stop carrying both of them in their car seats at the same time...but I had the snap n go in the trunk and I didn't want to have to go get it and bring it back to the house and add that extra step & time, but for the sake of my back, I think I'll have to going forward. I don't have a garage, but a carport and it's back behind the other set of townhouses, so while it's probably only a 30 second walk, carrying two 16+ pound babies in their car seats was a struggle!
At the store I put one in the basket of the cart and one with the seat balanced on the front part of the cart, so I had a little bit of room in the cart for food! Luckily, I only have to shop for myself and the nanny's lunch, so I didn't need too much! People kept stopping me to say, "oooo look, there's two of them!" but did ONE person ask if I needed help getting stuff off the top shelves or offer to get out of my way when they saw me coming down the aisle?! Nope!
Getting the boys AND the groceries in the house was fun. At least I parked out front, so I could just walk straight up to the door. I took the boys in first and left them in their seats while I brought the groceries in, so that worked out OK. But I need to get my other baby gate up so that my baby containment area in my house is complete so I have a safe place to put them! My back hurts so much from carrying them this weekend though. I need to see a chiro or something. I wish I could find time for a massage! Oh, and I discovered this morning that I forgot to lock the car after bringing the groceries in...oh well.
Anyway...long story short...I did it! And I went to Target & BRU with them on Saturday...so they're starting to do a lot better in the car and in the stroller, yay!
3/24/2010
New night time routine
Ok, I am probably jinxing myself by posting this because it's only been 2 nights now, but so far this is working really well!
After feeding the boys their bedtime bottle, I've been putting them in their swaddlers (just their legs in the bottom half but not closing the top part) and putting them in the stroller with their pacifiers and reclining them as far as they can go. Then I go for a walk around my neighborhood for about 30 minutes. It is around 6:30, so it is still light enough that I feel safe walking around alone.
They don't fall asleep but they get kind of comatose during the walk. When I get home, I swaddle up Alex and put him in the swing and then I swaddle up Max and glide him in the rocker in their room until he falls asleep. The last two nights, it has taken FIVE minutes to get him to sleep! Then, once I put Max down, I go and get Alex and either glide him or bounce him on the pilates ball until he's going to sleep. Then Alex goes back in the swing to put him completely to sleep, but I like giving him that time to be cuddled with mom too!
It's taken me fifteen minutes to get them both to sleep the last two nights, which is basically a miracle! Then, after Alex is sleeping in the swing for about 30 minutes, I move him to his crib.
Last night, they slept all night long! The fussed a couple times for pacifiers until about 9:30 and then I checked on them at 1:30 because I couldn't believe it! At 4:20, Alex woke up screaming and I rushed in there and scooped him up before he could really wake Max up, but I think maybe he just had a bad dream or something because he settled right down and I put him back with his pacifier and he was back out.
Max woke up at 6:15 and Alex at 6:30!
Like I said, I probably totally jinxed this, but I was so happy this morning, I had to share!
3/29/2010
Max & Alex - 6 month check up
Max - 15p15o (25%), 26.5in (50%), 17.5in head (75%)
Alex - 15p14o (25%), 26.5in (50%), 17.5in head (75%)
So they both have big heads! I'm thinking of them as TALL since they are at 50% for height, but are 5 week preemies! So they are tall and thin. But at 6 months, I'm not really worried about any of these measurements (and neither is the doc).
The only concern she had is that they're not pushing up to their hands, just their forearms still. She said they should push up to their hands by 4 months? I was surprised by that. She wasn't concerned that they're not showing any signs of sitting. The reach & grab for toys but don't transfer hand to hand, which is fine.
They have eczema on their heads and feet so she said to put aquaphor on it. And to give them prune juice for the constipation. Sometimes I'm surprised at how big and solid their poops are; I wonder how they get them out!
That's about it! Oh! And they STTN last night without fussing at ALL from 7p-6a! They were so tired from the photos! I should get preview photos in a couple of days and I will share! I couldn't take advantage of the quiet night because now I have a UTI, fun! So I'm at the doc now to get some antibiotics.
4/5/2010
We went to the store & we tried avocados!
So the boys and I walked to the grocery store this weekend (just under a mile each way)! With the twin Maclaren, there's just enough space underneath to hold about 3 bags' worth of groceries.
It was gorgeous this weekend, in the mid 80s, so we walked down and bought prune juice, an avocado, a sweet potato, baby spoons and baby sunblock (can you tell who was dictating this trip to the store?!)
The boys were VERY popular and loved the attention (as did I!).
Then, we walked home and the boys had a nice nap while I mooshed up avocado for the first time(mixed in some formula to make it thinner and smooth). They loved it! Yay!
4/5/2010
I did the stupid test...so pissed off (rant)
So, finally did the stupid paternity test that Mr. Sperm Donor sent. I'm so pissed off about this...even though I KNOW that it's his wife making him do it, I'm just pissed that he doesn't have the balls to stand up to her.
Also, it's just a cheek swab test, so not admissible in court AND no way of knowing that HE'S the one being tested on his end. I asked him about it and he said, "I must admit, the concerns you've raised have never occured to me.... I'd like to take that as a good sign ! But I completely understand where you're coming from. With that in mind, all I can do for now is reassure you that, if anything unexpected comes up in the test, we'll do another one. In that circumstance, it would be done to whatever stringent measures you think are necessary. In that sense, I'd only end up costing myself more money. Believe me, I have no intention of doing that at the moment. " So...on the one hand, I'm HOPING that he didn't test some random stranger, and on the other hand, I'm kicking myself for giving him the idea (if he's even telling the truth in the first place).
I'm surprised he didn't send TWO tests. What...you only need me to test ONE of a set of identical twins?!
AND, as if doing the test isn't bad enough, I have to pay the postage to mail the stupid thing to Vancouver. Ok, it's like a dollar, but seriously, you couldn't even pay for postage?!
AND, I don't even think I get a copy of the results. I have to rely on him to send me a copy. I called the company and they said there's a password on the account that you need to get the results and he won't give it to me.
Anyway...just needed to get this off my chest!
4/12/2010
Sleeping separately?
Does anyone have any experience with separating their twins and then bringing them back together?
The GOOD news is that my night-time "going for a walk" routine seems to be working! It tires them out, and they fall asleep pretty easily after.
My current set up is two cribs in the boys' room & two swings in the office.
When the boys go to bed, I start Alex in a swing and Max in his crib. This gives me the advantage of getting them to fall asleep where they can't hear the other one fussing, moaning, turning, snuffling, and so forth. Alex also tends to be fussy right when he's falling asleep and if I put him in his crib before he's REALLY asleep, he'll wake up and cry (waking Max). After about 30 minutes, I move Alex to his crib where he (generally) sleeps through the night.
They both tend to fuss off & on from about 7:30 (bedtime) until 10:30 or so (need to be burped or need the pacifier back), when they fall deeply asleep and will sleep until around 6.
However, if Max gets fussy in the night (wakes up more than once in an hour), I put him in a swing in the office and leave him there for the night. Lately, this has been getting better and he's stayed in his crib, but last night, for example, I put him in the swing at about 10:30 and just left him there.
I've noticed that if Max is in the swing, he'll sleep until about 6:30. If he's in bed, he'll wake up a little before 6. If he's in bed, he'll wake Alex up too. If Max is in the swing, in the other room, Alex will sleep, on his own, in his crib until 6:30ish (sometimes 7!).
Since they obviously sleep better separately, I'm considering splitting them up for now. Putting one swing/crib in their room and one swing/crib (or PNP) in the office. But I don't want to keep them separate forever, I don't really have the space as I don't want to give up my office quite yet!
Has anyone split up their twins and then successfully put them back in the same room when they started sleeping really well? How did you do it? What age? Any other info/advice/help?
4/18/2010
Paternity test results
Paternity test came back >99.99%! A Combined Paternity Index greater than 1000 indicates that the probability of paternity is greater than 99.9%.
The CPI on our test was FORTY THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED FORTY SIX!
Of course, we only tested Max...so I guess Alex's paternity is still technically up in the air!
4/26/2010
More teeth
So M&A are getting a top tooth each; that will be their 3rd. OMG the drool! And the cranky! And the not wanting to sleep!
4/26/2010
We have achieved sitting!
Max is finally starting to sit, sort of! He can hang in there for about 30 seconds or so and is still pretty wobbly. This just magically happened yesterday. Yay!
5/1/2010
Sleeping in swings?
Ok, I have two cribs in the boys' bedroom and two swings in the office. Generally, at some point during the night, one of the boys will end up in a swing (fussy, rolls over & wakes himself, etc) and spends the rest of the night there. Last night, both boys ended up in swings and I had to WAKE THEM UP at 6:30am for breakfast! (Normally, I wouldn't wake them, but I had to work this morning, boo!)
I know they generally sleep better in the swings, but since normally one is in a swing and one in the crib, the crib one generally wakes between 5 & 6 and then I get the other one up for breakfast at the same time.
The weight limit on the swings is 25 pounds and they are 16-17 pounds. I really want them to sleep in their cribs, but they are still up a couple of times per night each and once they're in the swings, they just sleep better!
How hard would it be (do you think) to keep them in the swings for now, or maybe just on nights when I really REALLY need the sleep, and transition them back to the cribs when they're 25 pounds?
Thoughts...advice...BTDT?
5/14/2009
Baby Containment Area
Do you have one? What does it look like?
Here is mine...basically, I gated off what should be my dining room (the EXDH got all the dining room furniture!) and put those foam puzzle mats down and moved all the toys, books, jumper and exersaucer into it. I need to get a shelf unit to attach to the wall as the toy basket is already overflowing!
The only thing that sucks is that you have to go through it to get to the kitchen and I've enforced a "no outside shoes" policy in there. Also, the cat litter is on the other side of the gate to the hall, and cat litter can't be contained no matter WHAT you try. I am getting rid of the cats though, so this won't be a problem for long.
I'm hoping M&A will be happy in here for awhile!
5/19/2010
Follow up C/T and sick baby :(
Ok, these are two separate items, but I didn't want to post two threads!
Item #1
So, last Thursday I took Max in for his follow up C/T scan. Our C/T was supposed to be at 1:30 with a 12:45 check in, and then the follow up with the doc to get the results at 2:15. Well, of course, I get there at 12:45, check-in and they take me right away and we're done by 1. So YAY for being done so quickly, but then the doc wasn't for an hour and 15 minutes. So we go over to the doc's office and they say they'll TRY to take us early. So at 2:05 (technically early!) they call us back and we wait in the room for about 20 minutes. Then his assistant comes back in and says sorry, but the system is down and they can't read the scan! So I'll have to reschedule. Um, WTF?! So, Max missed his nap, screamed hysterically through the C/T because he is older and more aware of what is going on now PLUS they wouldn't let me give him his pacifier (which they did last time) 
- I'm so glad the scan was only about 5 minutes, it was so awful listening to him cry because he was so afraid. 
Then sit with a wiggly un-napped baby in the doc's waiting room for over an hour just to be told that, not only do I have to come back, but Max does too because the doc didn't examine him since he couldn't read the scan!
Now it's Wedm]nesday and I STILL haven't heard back from them! I just left a message with his office to find out what is going on.
Item #2
Alex has been running a fever for 3 days now, so I just called the pede and am taking him in this afternoon. I thought it was just because of his 4th tooth finally coming in, but this morning it was 102.5 when it's been in the 99.5-100.5 range and then near normal with ibu or tylenol. I feel so bad for him because I can tell he's just not feeling well. He has that "mooooooom, just hooooooooold meeeeeeee!" cry and it's so pitiful!
5/31/2010
5 days with no babies
Ok, so I've been gone for 5 days! I can't believe it! I do a video skype call to see the boys everyday and it's so cute...they just smile and smile when they see me and talk to the computer and kick and get so excited.
My mom is doing really well with getting them out of their swaddles and back into the cribs. She's been working with the nanny to soothe them and get them to bed & naps. Something I haven't been able to do on my own. She said they're going to sleep pretty quickly and only woke up a couple of times last night, but were up before 6am. Ugh. I hope they get back to sleeping until 6:30 before I get home!
I miss them SO much, but I have to admit that it's been really nice getting some sleep! I actually slept for 9 hours the other night! It was pretty much a miracle!
I try to log on and check here once a day or so, but I'm 9 hours ahead, so no one's ever online when I am.
P.S. - I can't believe my boys are 8 months old!
6/5/2010
While I've been gone...
...the boys have started holding their own bottles, figuring out how to put their pacifiers in the right way, sleeping UNswaddled and in their cribs!
And...Max is starting to crawl!
I am missing everything!
I still see them on skype everyday and it is so cute! They talk and smile to me in the computer! I'm sure they are confused and don't get why I won't touch them or pick them up, but they are almost always excited and happy to see me.
Only 3 more days! I see my babies on Tuesday night!
6/10/2010
Interaction between twins (or more!)
So when did your twins start interacting with each other? I kind of thought they would be by now, but mostly they just snatch toys from each other...but I don't even think they are really "aware" is in "I'm going to take that toy from that other baby". Or, if Alex cries, Max will start to cry (Max is definitely the more sensitive one...stranger anxiety, startles easier, cries when A cries, etc.)
The nanny just texted me to say that they are talking to each other, or actually, Alex is talking and Max is cracking up.
When I took them to the doc for their 4 month appt, my mom and I sat them up facing each other and they were really looking at each other and smiling and stuff then, so I thought they would start interacting earlier than now (almost 9 months). Maybe at 4 months they were looking at the other baby more as a mirror or something?
6/11/2010
I am soooo tempted (xp)
...to get a photo of the boys printed and then a frame that says "World's Greatest Dad!" or something similar and send it to M&A's dad for Father's Day.
I'm not going to do it...I'm just thinking about it and it's making me chuckle evilly in my head.
Maybe next year after the custody/child support stuff is sorted out. I don't want to do anything to jinx that right now!
6/17/2010
Buy Buy Baby is the best!
Ok, so I knew that BBB would take BRU coupons, but I didn't know they would also match their online specials too!
So I went into BBB yesterday and asked if they would match the specials and the manager said YES! Then I also asked if I could combine the BRU specials with my BBB coupons and he said, "we'll make it work!" YES!
BRU is having a "get $10 off for every $50 you spend on car seats" promotion AND get a free car seat protector (which is online only, but BBB let me have it anyway up to $20 each).
Here's how my purchase turned out...
+$200 - car seat
+$200 - car seat
+$20 - car seat protector
+$20 - car seat protector
+$7 - sun shade for car seat
+$7 - sun shade for car seat = $454 subtotal plus tax
-$40 - 20% off one item BBB coupon
-$5 - BBB coupon
-$40 - BRU $10 off per $50 for one seat
-$40 - BRU $10 off per $50 for 2nd seat
-$20 - free car seat protector
-$20 - free car seat protector = $165 in savings!
TOTAL PURCHASE PRICE with tax of $317!!! w00t!!!
Anyway, I wanted to share with everyone so that you know how awesome this store is!
Now I have to try to install them this weekend! I need to call the fire department and see when their next car seat install seminar is!
7/6/2010
When does the spit up END?!
For those of you who had babies with reflux, when is it going to be over?! I am so sick of washing burp cloths every freakin' day, washing toys, washing the floor, washing my pants, washing their bibs, washing their clothes! Their clothes are never "clean" for more than 10-15 minutes because they are spitting up everywhere. They wear bibs all the time and it still gets everywhere.
Now it is even more disgusting because they are eating purees and "real" food so it is different colors and thick and chunky. And they also have prune juice every day for constipation and that STAINS!
I am going crazy because it is gross and it is everywhere and all over everything.
They are on 2.5 ml of baby Zantac twice a day currently. I just talked to the doc and they are going to see about changing them to Prevacid...they're supposed to call me tomorrow about that.
I thought it was supposed to get better by now!
Also, this is SOMEONE's idea of fate/payback/something because I have a throwing up phobia (emetophobia) and I've done the best I can to be OK with this...I don't even want to think about when they're actually sick. That will be a tale for another day, I'm sure.
7/13/2010
Pretty much the best day ever!
So I went grocery shopping during my lunch hour yesterday because I never have time to do it over the weekend and taking two babies to the store in 110+ weather just never sounds like a "fun" thing to do...
...anyway, I get home with the groceries and I'm playing with the boys for just a couple of minutes and they're both a little cranky because it's naptime and they want their bottles.
So I get up and walk into the kitchen to get something and I hear Max go "mama!" and whine...and Lindsay (the nanny) says, "he just called you mama!" And I'm like...no he didn't, but I did hear him say it (they've never babbled mamamama before, just dada, tata, yaya, not the Ms yet). So he starts crawling to the kitchen and looks over right at me and goes, "MA-MA!"
He really said it! And it was so sweet and wonderful! So of course I ran over and picked him up and he was so happy! Seriously, he looked right at me and said it! I was so SURE he was going to say it to the nanny first! Or that they'd be babbling it for ages before it "meant" anything. That being said, it might be weeks before I hear it again!
And then I had to go back to work...boooooo!
(I realized this morning that I need to save a copy of this story so I can put it in Max's book!)
7/24/2010
Night feedings?
So, my boys haven't had night feedings since they were 4 months old. A couple of nights ago Max started waking in the night, screaming (which woke his brother too, of course). The only thing that could quiet him was giving him a bottle. He went right back to sleep after it. I was so tired I just gave it to him in his crib! He's also not napping well (normally does 1 1/2 - 2 hours, now is doing 30-60 minutes). Last night he woke at 9, midnight (bottle) and 4:15. I gave him another bottle at 4:15 hoping he'd go back to sleep; no such luck. He normally sleeps until 6, which is ungodly early enough! So now I'm here on the couch trying to doze while he plays on the floor. I got him up so he wouldn't wake his brother.
His poor brother is exhausted because he keeps waking when Max does. They both woke at midnight and Max went right to sleep after his bottle, but Alex took an hour and a half to go back to sleep, ugh! It doesn't help that we're out of town this weekend, so I have 2 pack n plays in the room with me.
Please someone tell me this is just a growth spurt or something and that in a few days he will go back to sleeping! They've only been STTN since June and I was finally getting caught up! I can't go back to getting up multiple times again!
6/28/2010
Post your 9 month stats here!
Hey guys!
Post your 9 month check up & stats here!
Alex -
Head 18.25 in (75%)
Weight 18p, 13oz (25%)
Height 26.75 in (25-50%)
Max -
Head 18.25 in (75%)
Weight 18p, 14oz (25%)
Height 26.75 in (25-50%)
The nurse was kind of freaked out by how similar they were. They even had the same temp...98.2! I think if they hadn't been one ounce off, she would have fainted!
I was surprised that Alex was an ounce less...it's the first time he's weighed less than Max!
The doc was very pleased at their milestones and said I can start them on yogurt and dairy now! Yay!
Two shots each...I was bummed because the online immunization chart skipped from 6 months to 12 months, so I didn't think they were getting any today! And a hemoglobin check, which was fine.
How is everyone else doing?
7/26/2010
i just don't know what to do
I thought it would be fun to drive up to vegas with the boys to visit my step-dad for his birthday. We've been here since Thursday. I havem't slept since we got here. Max will not sleep more than 1 1/2 hours at a time since we've been here. I've resorted to giving him bottles in bed pretty much every time he cries. I haven't fed him at night since he was 4 months old and I'm worried that he's going to be in the habit when we get home now. I don't know what's going on with him but it's awful. He won't sleep, he's up for the day at 4am. I haven't gotten any rest myself and I have to drive us home tomorrow for 6 hours and I'm just exhausted. This has been the worst "vacation" ever.
I don't know if it's just the change in sleeping arrangements (crib v. PNP, hotel v. our house)? I've tried to keep him on the same schedule as at home; it's the same time zone. His poor brother is exhausted cuz he can't sleep through so much crying either. There's no where else to put him to split us up.
Why did I ever do this? How am I going to make it home? He's crying on and off right now, so I can't sleep. He won't let me hold him. He won't lie in the bed with me. If I pick him up, he wants to play.
